Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Our Struggles, but Christ - The Punisher

Image Courtesy of David Castillo Dominci/
The Punisher (Girl): Why are you so stupid?! Like who does that?! 
Guy: Why do you have to yell at me? I’m right here.
The Punisher: You need to man up…I’m not even yelling at you.
Guy: Why are you so disrespectful? We can finish this conversation later when you have calmed down.
The Punisher: Don’t tell me to calm down! I am calm! I would not act this way if you didn’t do stupid things! I do everything for you and you just can’t do this one thing - not lie to me. Why?!
Guy: Can you blame me?! Look at the way you are acting! It is hard to tell you the truth. You know need to change and you need to do it soon or this is not going to work.
The Punisher: I don’t need to change! I am not the person with the problem. You are!
Guy: I can’t do this….
The Punisher: I can't do this anymore! 
Storms away and calls her sibling. 

The Punisher: What am I doing wrong? Why do I feel like he is always lying to me? I do everything for him.
Sibling: Well, I  don't know about you, but I don't feel like either one of you come off in a loving manner when you disagree. 
The Punisher: What do you mean? I just told you that I do everything for him. I might get loud sometimes and say hurtful things, but it’s not like I’m hitting or cheating on him.
Sibling: Girl, words cut deep. Did you read the Boyd Sisters blog post about words. Words are powerful. You can make someone's day with a few simple words, but you can also ruin it too.
The Punisher: So are you saying that I cannot be mad?
Sibling: Being mad is not the problem, it is how you handle your anger where the problem lies. The words that come out of your mouth are hurtful. I know before I gave my life to Christ I use to be like that, but I learned that I must handle my problems through Christ with love.
The Punisher: Well, he does not deserve my kindness or love. I don’t want anyone taking advantage of me. If you act right, you get treated right. If you act up… get the ugly side of me. Whether it's yelling or ignoring them, I refuse to act like that person did not hurt me. Especially him...You want me to show him love. Let's be real, he does not deserve it.
Sibling: It is not your job to punish people. That's God job. We been called to love them.  Love is not a reward, it’s an obligation. If love was based on performance, then no one would love others. We have to remember that no one is perfect. Love is not about how people act, but about what people need. (1 Peter 4:7-8) Love has the ability to see bad actions and push pass them to meet a person's needs. (Titus 3:3-6) That is how I try to love you. That is how Christ's loves us. God knows we are so unworthy but He loves us anyway. Let's look pass people's behaviors and show the love that we received from Christ. 
The Punisher: How do I extend love to someone whose behavior does not show love?
Sibling: Yeah, I know it's not easy. However, I always ask myself, "Are your attitudes and perspectives a great reflection of God’s Heart?"
The Punisher: What does my attitude and perspective have to do with showing love?
Sibling: People attitudes and perspectives are shaped by their circumstances and experiences. Think about it. Have you ever met a friendly person that doesn't have any friends? I sure haven't! We have to stop focusing on changing our external. People do that all the time by going from relationship to relationship or job to job. If we don't change our internal, we will get the same results. Regardless of the opportunity we get, if our heart does not change then our situation will remain the same. Girl read yo bible! LOL  We got the same one, read Ezekiel 36:26.
Girl: Haha...How do I change the internal? I been trying to change, but he always pulls out the worst in me. I feel like I go a few months doing really well and then he does something that sets me back.
Sibling: Girl I understand, I been there. But the main thing is I stop trying to do it by myself. We think they can do it by ourselves not knowing that I am the only One that can change the internal is Christ.(Ezekiel 36:26)  Whenever I am bother by something or I feel out of control, I pray this prayer. “Jesus check my heart and my attitude. I know I have a perspective about people, but check my perspective. Point out anything in me that offends You. Show Me how to love like You.  Give me strength to love the unlovable as You have done for me. Give me Your heart Lord because minds is wicked. I want to see people like You see them. Amen.”
Girl: Jesus check my heart and my attitude. I know I have a perspective about people, but check my perspective. Point out anything in me that offends You. Show Me how to love like You.  Give me strength to love the unlovable as You have done for me. Give me Your heart Lord because minds is wicked. I want to see people like You see them. Amen. Do you think I should stay in my relationship? 
Sibling: To be honest that is something you need to talk to God about not just me. I will say that you should focus on you and your relationship with Christ. Remember this is not about if you should or shouldn't be in the relationship. It is about your attitude, mindset, and they way you treat people. I am not telling you to be anyone's doormat or stay in a violent relationship.  You must accept that hurt people, hurt people. We can't keep using the same excuses about what our parents did, or past relationships to shape the way you love. The way you love should be based off of God. He should be your standard of love for He is love. (1 John 4:8-11)  I know this seems very difficult for people to grasp, but the best part is that you don't have to do this alone because you have Him. That is what my change so exciting and easy. I did it with Him.
Image Courtesy of Michelle Meiklejohn/
The Punisher can be a woman or a man who places abuse on others. This is not just physical and mental abuse, this applies to giving people the silent treatment or having an attitude because we feel its our job is to punish them. We use the excuse that everyone around us is the reason why we treat them the way we do. Or we grew up in a household where these negative actions were prevalent so "we do not know any better”. Maybe we believe we have to teach that person a lesson. We must ask ourselves these questions, “Are my actions a reflection of Christ’s love?” “Is this how God intended us to displace love to others?” “How much longer are we going to justify our actions based off our circumstances or past?” We must stop blaming our friends, families, or enemies for our actions. Luke 6:45 says, “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.” Do you feel like you actions are good? We must lean on Christ, focus on our relationship with Him, and He will change us in ways that we could never imagine. Loving the unlovable is impossible without Christ. Pray for Him to pull anything out of you that is unlike Him, and He will do it. The closer you get to Christ the more like Him you will be.

Eph. 4:22-24



  1. I understand the message that no one should be spiteful and full of revenge and punish someone this is GOD's job. I wanted to add one piece and take it one step farther to note: Love should be pure, it will NOT be perfect, but it should be pure and if you desire to inflict punishment on your significant others, then you need to walk away. Just because you love someone does not mean you should be with them.

    1. Thank you Jasmine! Seek God and allow Him to guide you. When we love like God it is perfect and pure but it is something we must work at everyday. Anything is possible with Him.

  2. I had a hard time reading this one because I have been lied to and guys have tried to make it my fault. It took me WAYYYYYY back because the guy in this story took no responsibility. I did exactly what the author said not to do! haha I was thinking of ways she could get him back. (Pray for me!) After re-reading this a few times (I mean a few times), I completely understand JC is not really focusing on the guy, but the girl and her actions. I REALIZE THIS IS NOT ABOUT THE GUY AND HIS LYING, BUT ABOUT THE GIRL AND THINKING IT'S OKAY TO PUNISH HIM FOR IT. JC even tells her that she SHOULD NOT be anyone's doormat or stay in a violent relationship. JC is NEVER said his lying was okay. I wanted to share this because I know that a lot of women are probably getting to caught up in the guy like I did. If she feels need to punish him I am pretty sure that she does it to other people too. I know because I am this girl...I agree with Jasmine's comment if she doesn't change herself or think she needs to change then she needs to leave the relationship and do some self-reflection. God Bless!

    1. AMEN! The bf/gf (in this example bf) is not the focus it is the punisher. We must strive to love others as Christ loves us. Even when it is hard and people do us wrong. Showing love to someone does not mean you have to stay in a relationship with them or not, but we must show them love. We must always seek Christ and He will guide and leave us.

  3. Wow great post! I think this post relates directly to what God has been trying to teach me as it pertains. Many times due to past experiences we feel like its our duty to protect our own selves by dealing with those who hurt us and not completely trusting God. But we have to understand (me especially lol) that the love of God truly covers all wrongs.(1 Peter 4:8) And that love cannot co-exist with our attitudes, something I still struggle with but I'm trusting God. Its easier when we see God as our dad, because that a loving dad ALWAYS has our backs. Lovely post!

    1. Agreed! We love the perspective of seeing God as our loving dad because it's so true. He does have our back even when it comes to changing us for the better! Thanks for reading and God bless! :)