Wednesday, April 17, 2013

My Struggle Is Not For Me

Many people know us as the women with many sisters and not much about my brother. Let's be honest, it’s hard to get attention when you have five women with you! LOL We love our brother and he was an amazing person. He recently passed at the age of 30. We can't lie, we were confused. We never wanted to question God and why He will let this happen because we know God was in control. However, we were hurt and lost. All we could think about was there has to be more to life. My brother died and the world didn't stop even though our hearts almost did. We left work early that day and guess what? The work was going to get done whether we were there or not. Our little sister left school, but guess what? The teacher was going to keep teaching. Nothing in this world changed, nothing stopped, even though we felt like it should have.

I was in DC getting ready to travel home to Chicago for the wake and the funeral. I cried a few times since I found out about my brother, but I had not mourned yet. I was going on with my life because I was not ready to deal with the pain. I wasn't ready because that meant I would have to talk to God about it. I was not ready for that. The day of the wake I was scared because that meant this was the day it would become real to me. I was not ready for that either. On the day of the wake, I just couldn’t look at my brother. My dad had to walk me up to the casket and tell me to look at him. He said, "Baby, you need to mourn now so tomorrow you can be strong for others." I was already crying, but when I finally look at my brother it was like my knees were not holding me up anymore. It was my father. I was confused, hurt, and I just didn't understand. He was only 30? Why now? Did he live out his purpose? Was this the life God wanted for him? All these questions were running through my mind, but I forgot what was important. Shortly after crying in my father's arms, he said, "Baby, remember God keeps His promises." Right then, at that very moment, a peace came over me. My heart beat slowed down, my tears of sorrow became tears of joy, and I started to smile. All I could think about was that I serve a faithful God and He does keep His promises. I knew that my brother was living a better life right now and I would see him again one day. That's a joy that no one could ever take from me.
Image Courtesy of Stuart Miles/
A few months later, I was visiting my friend's church.  It was the moment in the service where people could go to the altar and give their sorrows and pain to God. I was sitting in my seat praying for my love ones around me. All of a sudden, I heard this lady cry out, "Lord I can't do it. They took my son, I can’t do it anymore." An instant emotion came over me and I immediately started to cry. As I sat in my seat, I began to pray for the lady. It made me think about my brother and how I wanted to give her the peace that God gave me. God told me to get up and share it with her. So I went to the altar where she was crying and told her exactly what my dad told me. The Lord keeps His promises. She grabbed my hand tight and her prayer changed from "I can't do this anymore" to "God get me through this day." All you could see was the same peace God gave me, He gave her. She slowly began to calm herself. . At that very moment, on that very day, I knew that my struggle and pain was for the glory of God. The peace I received was just not for me, but also for this lady that I never met. We hope and pray that this story was for you too. God puts us through things even when we are not ready for them so we can remember to depend on Him and only Him. We serve a God that does things in decent and in order. That was my brother’s time whether I was ready for it or not. We have to remember that God is in control. Always and forever. (Proverbs 19:21) We can’t be afraid to share our wounds and struggles because they are not just for us, but for others and the glory of God.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-5)

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Have you been through a struggle or a hardship? Don't be the bag carrier or an army brat. Use your struggle for God’s glory!

We did a photo shoot with Olujr Photography. He is an amazing artist! Check out our Facebook page and Instagram to see some more pics!
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Eph. 4:22-24



  1. This is absolutely true!!! So glad that your story could be used to bring another peace! Everything happens for a reason! It can be so hard to realize that we are not living this life for ourselves! And yes, we are going to have these emotions of grief, pain, sadness. But our God is there to bring us that peace. Amen!

  2. So true...the peace of God surpasses all understanding. I experienced the same thing when my mother passed away. Thanks for sharing. You guys are so cool btw lol

  3. Your post brought tears to my eyes as I was thinking of a friend who recently died...much sooner than he should have. It's hard for me to understand why God would allow his death to happen, but I know that God will bring glory to the situation.

    Thank you so much for sharing your heart.

    1. Yes, this was a really hard post to right but even when I was writing it he gave me that same peace. Our prayers are with you as well!

  4. Oh, I just wanted to add that I am working on the Inspirational Monday questions. I haven't forgotten! :) I've just been very busy with studying for finals. I'll try to e-mail my answers in a few days.