|By Melaine of Cupcakes, Cornithians, & Crafts|
The other option wasn’t as good. I was brought up in a Christian home and went to church from a young age. But when I reached my teenage years I decided to rebel. It wasn’t long before I met a guy. This guy gave me a way out, things at home were not too good with my parents, I was 17 and rebelling, they were sad to see me going down that road. This guy came at the right time, and six months later at the age of 18 I moved in with him. Life wasn’t happy, I was settling and I knew it. We got engaged and shortly after we set a date to be married. I still wasn’t happy. I thought that having someone love me and acting all grown up would make me happy, but he didn’t love me – not truly. One night I was with my mum and it all came out; the emotional bullying, the psychological torture that this guy was putting me through, how he was always angry and had a gambling addiction. I always felt God's hand over my life and a few weeks before sharing all this with my mum I had gone and bought myself a bible. A pink one. But this guy was so anti-God that I had to hide it behind the sofa so he didn’t see. I knew God had been calling me back to Him for years but I had resisted. To scared that I was going to be alone forever; that I could do no better. Then one night the guy and I had an argument when I told him about my hidden bible, although he was being verbally abusive to me I felt Gods peace. The next morning I packed a suitcase and left, I turned up on my parent’s doorstep and asked to move back in four years after I had left. I chose God.
2. How did you change?
For a long time I was never alone, I had lost myself. I had lost my identity. I was told by this guy how I was to wear my hair and what I was to wear, he told me on many occasions that he wouldn’t marry me because I was too fat. My confidence was rock bottom. I knew I didn’t want to stay with my parents forever so I looked and prayed for other options and one came along in the form of an internship with a church 250 miles away. So once again I packed my bags and moved there. I was so scared, but I wasn’t as scared of moving as what I had been of that guy.
God did amazing work within me, He healed me, He healed my confidence, and He took away the eating disorder I was battling. For a long time, I felt like I wasted those four years of my life, but I have learnt so many valuable lessons and now want to share my story to help encourage others. Now three years on from that, I am married to a wonderful Godly man. I am happy in life and I have finally learnt to like myself. I don’t look back apart from to thank God from taking a mess and turning it into my message.
The moral of my story is that no matter how much you try to run from God, hide from God, and try to reject Him – He will never turn His back on you. God will always pursue you and love you. He will wait for you to come back to Him. Just don’t wait too long – for your own sake.
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